VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We are two peas in an std pod
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
