youre lurking in front of me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
