Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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