dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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