Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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