Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
