im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
