How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
