I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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