Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
