i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
