Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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