Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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