i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize