i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
