hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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