The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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