It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
