I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
