i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
