Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
