just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
