Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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