help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize