No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
