I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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