Farmville is her only friend.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize