dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
