y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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