Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
