I feel great
I just peed on a car
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
