Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize