Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He uses pillows to masturbate.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
