Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
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