escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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