She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
No stitches, just platelets and will power
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
