Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
