I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
