Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
