I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
