I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
