Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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