my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
