careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
