just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
