just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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