She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Did we literally take a cab across the street
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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