The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
