i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
