Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
