would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
