She announced her abortion via fbk
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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