We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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