i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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