so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
