y did u give ur computer a hand job?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
