Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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