"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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