I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
