Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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