she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
