There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Porn is love you can see.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize