Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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