Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
