i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
MIDGETS
????
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
