Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
