It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
