I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
